The cold baptismal water was intentional that Sunday morning. Not to shock the body, but to awaken the soul. As new believers emerged from the water, gasping and rejoicing, something profound was declared: the old life was buried, and resurrection had come.
But what happens after we rise from those waters? How do we navigate relationships in a world that operates by completely different rules than the Kingdom of God?

The Landscape Has Changed

Our generation finds itself at a crossroads. Millennials grew up during the rise of hookup culture, where 78% believed casual intimacy on a first date was not just acceptable but beneficial. Relationships became transactions. Commitment became optional. Love became conditional.
Yet something remarkable is happening. The younger generation is pushing back. They're rejecting the emptiness of situationships and the confusion of undefined relationships. They're asking a question that echoes through church halls and college campuses alike: "There has to be another way, right?"
The answer is a resounding yes. But it requires us to be built different.

The Foundation: Equally Yoked

Second Corinthians 6:14 poses a question that cuts through cultural noise: "What fellowship can light have with darkness?" This isn't about judgment. It's about foundation. You cannot build a lasting structure on mismatched materials. You cannot create harmony when the fundamental frequencies are opposed.
Before we ever swipe right or accept a dinner invitation, we must ask ourselves: Does this person share my commitment to following Jesus? Not spirituality. Not good vibes. Not "they believe in something." Do they read their Bible? Do they serve in their church? Are they actively pursuing Christ?
Shared values aren't a nice-to-have in dating. They're the very ground on which everything else is built.

Know Yourself Before You Know Someone Else

There are six critical categories of values every person should examine before entering a relationship:

Family and Friends: How important is family to you? Do you envision having children? These aren't third-date conversations; they're essential discussions during the dating phase.

Work and School: What are your aspirations? Your work ethic? Your vision for your career? Financial compatibility isn't about income; it's about shared vision and values around provision and purpose.

Health: Physical, emotional, and mental health matter. We've normalized hiding our struggles, then acting shocked when they surface years into a commitment. Healing is ongoing, but honesty must be immediate.

Relationships: What does commitment mean to you? What are your expectations? What does healthy partnership look like in your mind?

Faith: This is non-negotiable for believers. What do you stand for? What are you rooted in? When culture shifts and storms come, what keeps you anchored?

Leisure: What brings you joy? How do you cope with stress? What are your hobbies? Life isn't meant to be constant suffering. We need to know how to experience joy together.
Not everyone values all six categories equally, but your top three should be crystal clear before you pursue anyone romantically.

The HALT Principle

When you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, pause before making life-altering decisions. Our flesh wants to move quickly when we're uncomfortable. Loneliness whispers that any relationship is better than no relationship. Exhaustion tells us to take the easy path. Anger pushes us toward revenge or rash choices.

But God calls us to something higher. Before you say yes to that relationship, before you move in together, before you compromise your values because you're afraid of being alone—HALT. Stop. Pray. Seek God's face. Let Him lead your decisions, not your desperation.

Intentionality Over Impulse

Dating in the Kingdom isn't about filling a void. It's not about having someone to post cute pictures with on social media. It's not about escaping loneliness or proving your worth.
Dating must be an intentional pursuit with marriage as the end goal.

If companionship without commitment is what you're after, you don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend. You need a friend. Maybe a pet. But don't call it dating if you're not willing to set a date—a wedding date, that is.

This intentionality means having hard conversations early. Within the first three to six months, you should know whether this relationship is worth the effort. Every relationship requires work, but you should be able to discern: Is this person moving in the same direction? Are our values aligned? Is God honored in how we treat each other?

Truth Over Comfort

Here's a hard truth: A difficult truth spoken in love is better than a well-intended lie.
If you know a relationship isn't working, honor that person as a son or daughter of God by telling the truth. Don't string them along because you're afraid of how the breakup will look. Don't stay because you're addicted to companionship. Don't lie to protect your image on social media.

Every interaction, every decision, every conversation must come from a posture of honoring God. This includes how you break up with someone. You don't get to drag their name through the mud. You don't get to seek revenge. You don't get to line up the next relationship before ending the current one.

Vengeance belongs to the Lord. Walk away with integrity.

The Myth of Fully Healed

We all carry baggage. Every single one of us has been wounded, has made mistakes, has areas where we're still growing. The myth that someone must be "fully healed" before they are worthy of love is a lie that keeps people isolated and ashamed.

Healing is ongoing. What matters is whether someone is actively pursuing wholeness, whether they're honest about their struggles, whether they're committed to growth.

We are blessings wrapped in baggage. When Christ unpacks our baggage, others get to behold the blessing. God doesn't see us as the world sees us. He looks at the heart. He transforms stories. He makes all things new.

From Potential to Promise

In the early stages of dating, it's easy to focus on potential. They could be a great spouse. We could have a good life together. But you must move from potential to patterns to promise.

Watch how they handle conflict. Notice whether they tell the truth. Observe how they treat others when nothing is at stake. Patterns reveal character. And character determines whether the promise of marriage will be a blessing or a burden.

A Declaration of New Life
As each person emerged from the baptismal waters that Sunday, they declared something powerful: I am no longer who I was. The old is gone. The new has come.
This is the foundation for everything else—friendships, dating, marriage, purpose. When we are made new in Christ, we operate by different rules. We love differently. We date differently. We commit differently.

We are built different.

And in a world desperate for authentic love and lasting commitment, being built different isn't just countercultural. It's revolutionary.

If this sermon spoke to you and you’re ready to explore it further, this study guide is for you! Inside, you’ll find key Scriptures, reflection questions, and practical applications to help you grow in your faith. Open it up, dig in, and let God’s Word transform your life!